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bareboards2 (Member Profile)

Priest Blesses Children By Hitting And Shaking Their Heads

bareboards2 says...

Some kids seem to get much more shaking than others. Like the priest was announcing how bad or good that particular child was.

I'll bet he is not the only one doing this.


BoneRemake (Member Profile)

BoneRemake (Member Profile)

What Would You Do if You Were This Guy?

bareboards2 says...


I keep repeating that because folks are saying it is okay to hit.

It is not okay to hit.

Do people hit? Yes. Do they bolluxed up in their emotions and do the wrong thing? Yes. Did I ever "condemn" the guy? No. I said he did the wrong thing. He did the wrong thing.

Have I ever hit someone? Yes. Was I wrong? Yes. Was I doing the best I could at the time? Yes.

My posts haven't been about this specific situation. (Well, the first one was, because I thought she might have been sexually harassed -- I couldn't understand what was going on.) My posts have only been "best practices." And so I keep repeating "it is not okay to hit." [With the proviso is someone is actively attacking you, you can protect yourself. This doesn't meet that test -- all he had to do was take a big step back and say "no, stop." He didn't -- couldn't with his limitations of the moment -- take the best option.]

Anyway. I'm done here. If I am not smart enough to communicate something so simple, then I am going to stop trying.

It has been fun trying, though.

What Would You Do if You Were This Guy?

bareboards2 says...

@ChaosEngine She raises her fist? Take a step back.

Put up your hand in a "stop" motion and say loudly and firmly "NO."

It's that simple. That difficult.

I don't expect perfection from humans in the moment. We have have limitations. But the commentary afterwards?

It. Is. Not. Okay. To. Hit.

He had options. He didn't take them.

What Would You Do if You Were This Guy?

bareboards2 says...

@newtboy. Of course you are entitled to your opinion.

I disagree with you 100%. It is not okay to hit.

That guy had a lot of options and he didn't take any of them. I agree with you that not everyone has the skills to hold it together in situations like this.

Just because people fail at taking other options doesn't make hitting back the right thing to do.

It. Is. Not. Okay. To. Hit.

Of course if someone is coming at you, you might have to strike to KEEP THEM FROM HITTING YOU. Retaliation, though, is not a "moral" response. It is a failure of maturity and coping skills. It is the failure to take a step back to protect yourself.

Stand your ground sucks with guns or fists.

I took a self defense class years ago. I was taught skills that are potentially damaging. I was also taught to use my words to de-escalate.

I do not think it is good to say it is okay to hit and say it is "morally" okay.

We want to be the change, right? So say no hitting, mean it, and have understanding when someone hits anyway. It isn't about perfection. It is about a goal.

Well. We have traded our points of view a couple of times now. I'm certainly not going to change my mind. Would you like the last word?

What Would You Do if You Were This Guy?

bareboards2 says...

Thanks for that explanation, @enoch. I do admit I didn't see it/remember it by the time I got to the end.

I don't agree with you or @newtboy about the pop in the mouth being okay though. It isn't a gender thing. If this was an altercation between two men or two women, to take disparity of size out of it, the pop in the mouth is out of line to me.

Walk. Away. MLK. Gandhi. My self defense instructor. All say the same thing. Walk. Away.

Or in the parlance of parents -- use your words. No hitting.

I know this is a big leap -- but we invaded the SOVEREIGN NATION of Iraq, because we were afraid. If we can't have the maturity to deal with one person on a subway, then it leads to not having the maturity to deal with larger issues.

Walk. Away.

What Would You Do if You Were This Guy?

bareboards2 says...

Pretty big essay in defense of that pop in the mouth, when I haven't seen a single person say he was at fault for it. At least, that I remember.

The only reason I piped up was because I thought there was a chance he was sexually harassing her, which nobody had mentioned.

And a calm and clear voice say -- "This guy. This guy here touched me without permission" -- Gosh. If every woman did that, not with anger but with truth... well, these guys count on women staying silent.

We are talking about two different things, yeah?

What Would You Do if You Were This Guy?

bareboards2 says...

I am confused about what happened. He "touched her shit"? What, her stuff? Yeah, he should walk away.

But did he touch her "shit" -- as in, sexually fondled her without her permission? That was the only thing I could think of that would make someone so angry. And would explain why he didn't skulk away guiltily -- he would be admitting guilt.

Still, getting mad doesn't work. The best thing to do in that situation is to calmly address the entire car and say, "Excuse me, I want everyone to know that this man right here touched me without my permission. This guy. Touched my body without my permission. Take a goooooood long look at this guy."

Or she is just crazy and went off on him for touching her bag. (But why did he stay? I don't understand....)

I can't tell. I just know that if he did something wrong, then she was in the wrong for escalating a bad situation. And if he didn't do anything wrong, then he was a fool for staying there. Hitting her was out of line.

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newtboy (Member Profile)

bareboards2 says...

I was in Ireland years ago. Someone told me that there were hot tubs up in Northern Ireland that were filled with seaweed. Slippery seaweed, loads of salt, water warmed up....

If you can't find someone to do the warm noodle treatment, maybe you can hie yourself to Ireland.

Report back to me?

newtboy said:

Oooo baby! I'm next!

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